It was February 1968 and I was sitting at one of the tables
on the first floor of the Baillieu Library at the University of
Melbourne, next to those steel shelves full of books. I looked up
across the room full of tables on the opposite side, with not
even a dozen students with their heads down. There she was,
a serious looking but beautiful young woman, who had barely
raised her head to think.
I thought that it would be interesting if I could just get up, go
over to the table and have a chat with her. I was in need of
conversation and perhaps female company… or rather
someone that I could hug… to make my university days more
interesting! I did not get up and walk across to that table
immediately. Rather, I wrote her a poem called ‘Curiosity.’ If I
could just come across to you with confidence, talk to you and
get to know you… a simple, straightforward poem, not even
very long, a page in fact.
So with my poem in hand, I walked across and asked her
to read my note. She did and we had a conversation. But I did
not see her after this ever again. The poem however remained
amongst my notes. I discovered the note by accident a few
weeks later. This made me think about the power of writing for
myself, because up to that point in my life I had written purely
for my teachers.
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To think that writing would then become my companion, my
friend as time went by! Whenever I felt the urge to explain
something to myself or describe a sensation or even just to play
with words about a particular sentiment that I felt in my life at
the time. The notes and pieces of paper, sometimes even a
serviette, which I had used to note down something ended up
in my pockets or among my assignments. Occasionally I would
gather them and put them in an exercise book called Thoughts
and Reflections. Then again, months later I would look back at
what I had written and ponder about what all this really meant
to me.
It became important in my life to view what I had written
almost by ‘accident.’ Yes, I had become the serial accidental
writer. The amateur writer… the writer from within who would
occasionally just drop everything else that I was doing… to
continue this journey of self analysis and discovery. I found it
interesting reading what I had written. It was almost as if it was
someone else who was being moulded by this act of voluntary
‘involuntary’ writing.
So let me tell you were this writing has taken me over the
last forty years. This is how long it took me to finally put
together a book with my name on it, as author! But don’t be
fooled. I have not looked for a publisher. I decided to pay for
the publication myself. An act of self flagellation publishing or
is it rebellion? Or have I done it again? Have I become the
Accidental Author?
Tell me future reader of my works, if what I say gives you
something in return.
For having taken the time and given me the honour of your
company during moments of your own self discovery, become
part of this Association of Accidental Writers. Enjoy yourself!
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Before the beginning
Days earlier in the same Baillieu Library of the University of
Melbourne, when the lawn outside had not yet turned into a
carpark with planted lawn on top, I was looking through the
windows and admired the very welcoming environment I found
when I arrived in this country, Australia, only a few years
earlier. I was now enjoying this earthly paradise. God came to
mind after picking up a book by Nietzsche. He was saying that
God is dead. ‘How do I know the truth,’ I asked myself? How
does anyone know?
The seeds of inquiry can be planted in a young mind and
awaken so many thoughts, so many variations of the truth
about anything. In this atmosphere I sat down, took paper and
a pen from my bag… yes, the Library was still an open,
welcoming place and students were entrusted to do the right
thing! I began to write ‘The cry of a sceptic’ my first poem…
the reason why I called it a poem was because I felt something
came out in a non rational manner. I did not do any research
on this topic. I just wrote what I felt. What came out from
within… and it made sense!
So the need to pursue a particular line of thought, a
reflection about our existence or, more precisely, my own
existence, became an extension of me that came from within. I
felt I was imprisoned between the walls of ignorance of my
body. Was there some truth about humans having a soul? If the
soul was there, where did it come from?
Why are we born? Why do we live and what is the purpose
of dying? When mortality only produces ‘waste of effort’. How
can we make this world an earthly paradise? Why are there
conflicts, wars, destruction but also kindness, understanding,
friendship, construction? So many questions about so many
things! It would take a life-time or perhaps two to get to know
only a few of the answers.
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Maybe that’s the beauty of writing. It’s like taking a journey
and, at the end of so many pages, you can end up in so many
different places or conclusions. A bit like life itself or culture,
where you can have totally different environments.
It was then that I decided that I definitely loved my new
village, this University ground, the holy grail of my young adult
life where much happens to you before you are released into
life itself: into relationships, the work environment, your
economic situation, a new family, children, trying to grapple
with realities big and small of a life in continual progression
and evolution.
Memories of earlier times
Already I could see the differences in places and time. I
remembered and felt vividly my childhood years… in that small
town in Italy… in Montemurro of the 1950’s… where my life
took the first steps… I also remembered ‘Moliterno’. The town
30 kms from Montemurro where I attended the ‘Scuola Media’
that introduced me to Latin and French, to History and Maths,
to all the other subjects taught in Secondary Schools. This was
my first real migration experience within my own Region, away
from my family.
Then I ended one migration period to experience a second
one… in Australia, to meet up with my father, to begin life in
another country which used English rather than Italian as a
national language! So much had changed… I reflected whilst
sitting in that chair in the Baillieu Library! I asked myself: ‘How
can I proceed…” So much had already changed and I was
only now 20 years old!
“How can I proceed without an appraisal of who I am?
How come I have had to learn another language?” The
answers to these questions occupied my being. It’s better to
look back now with the benefit of hindsight and try
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to understand the tensions from within, the state of mind of… a
potentially confused individual who needed clarity for the way
ahead.
Did I have clarity? Of course not! I wanted to be a lawyer
without even knowing what this profession prepared you for in
the future. So I spent a lot of my time going over vocabulary
lists in order to learn English, and to understand the
complexities of expression. I was indeed attracted to literature,
but not passionately. I was attracted to much of my studies but
without that sense of purpose that makes a really top student. I
studied because I had to and I wanted to keep my place where
I was. I enjoyed those moments at University because of the
freedom that I had when I was not at lectures and tutorials or
my part time jobs!
With the need to meet other students, to make my presence
felt, to find some familiarity amongst so much that was new to
me, I began to frequent the Melbourne University Italian Club.
Soon afterwards I joined a theatrical group called La
Filodrammatica and became more involved with my part time
jobs in order to buy a car and maintain myself with my extra
expenses, even though I lived at home and only had a bus stop
ticket to pay for. But as everyone knows University life is not
cheap for someone who has to meet the peer expectations…
with smoking, lunch in the Cafeteria, the cappuccinos and pies
and chips… going out. The list of personal needs increased as
time went on… to be an adult requires some substance!
The end result of my socialization and part time employment
as a waiter did not have a real impact in my first year at Uni.
I passed all the four subjects and even managed an Honour in
Italian (expected!). This success without much trying actually
gave me two good outcomes … I received a Commonwealth
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Scholarship and the Law Faculty allowed me into first year Law.
I was a very happy individual. So I began 1969 with great
expectations… my aspiration to succeed would be sorely tested
in the year when Armstrong set foot on the Moon!
I performed reasonably well in all my written and
conversational classes in Italian and French. I also had Legal
Studies, Criminal Law and British History.
Loss and Regaining of Confidence
The University year began with great expectations. Finally I
was in the Law Faculty and I continued my language studies in
the Arts Faculty. The Commonwealth scholarship money began
to arrive. I felt absolutely on top of the world!
Within a few weeks of lectures and tutorials, I realized that
I needed to settle down to hard work if I wanted to succeed. I
did just that in part… but as the year wore on my circle of
friends grew, my involvement in La Filodrammatica took
valuable time from my studies. Money was needed to run my
car, to buy cigarettes and occasionally to go out… three, four,
five times a week! There was not much time to sleep.
So the studies began to suffer… with assignments given less
time than they should have received. In order to go dancing at
the Cavour Club, at the San Remo Ballroom, at the Hawthorn
Town Hall, plus the play rehearsals twice a week and the
Friday and Saturday nights working as a waiter at the dinner
dances and weddings at the San Remo Ballroom, Riviera Hall
and Little San Remo in North Melbourne; this busy life began
to take its toll.
I did try hard to maintain a balance and resolved to do
more near exam time, but it wasn’t to be! The calls to work as
a waiter became very repetitive, the rehearsals were time
consuming and social life was hectic. The boys and girls at the
Melbourne University began to congregate in the cafeteria to
play cards, billiards and talk! What a wonderful life! A life full
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of fun, joy, new experiences, new relationships or rather
chasing new relationships… because the girls at University
were pretty focused about what they wanted. The boys were no
match for them. One of the girls told me… “I came into the Law
Faculty to get myself a lawyer.” I resolved I wasn’t ready for
marriage to anyone! My father had married at thirty three! As
a result I also looked for company outside of my usual
University ambience!
The outcome of this year of great memories resulted in my
passing only one subject! Italian II. I did not even pass French
II, a subject which I loved! I had played so hard and had lost
my way so badly that I lost my place in the Law Faculty and
also the Commonwealth Scholarship. But I was earning more
money as a waiter! I was absolutely down in the dumps in
December 1969. I slowly recovered by beginning to write
regularly in my Thoughts and Reflections Exercise Book. I
analysed why I had failed and how I could regain my losses.
So in January 1970 I went to see the Administrator of the
Law Faculty and pleaded with him to let me do the year again!
He said that he couldn’t… the Legal Studies and Criminal Law
lectures did not want students who had failed in the
examinations to repeat the year. He offered some advice. “
Listen Tom, get your Arts Degree and then I’ll let you into the
Law Faculty again.” This he could do since you could study for
another degree without there being any restrictions under the
Post Graduate Study Scheme.
I enrolled in three arts subjects: Italian3, French 2(again)
and Australian History(2). 1970 was a good year… I curtailed
some of my social life, worked fewer hours closer to exam time,
but I was even more involved in the theatrical productions of the
Italian Drama Society... my skills of organization and
communication were increasing rapidly! I still met my friends
from the Law Faculty but I was the only one who had not been
able to get back into the Law Faculty!
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As the year passed I became more determined to protect my
place at the University… as a result I handed in my assignments
on time and enjoyed settling down not only to the work but also
to my own writings… poetry, some philosophical reflections
and how to approach life in general. I even published a few
poems in the La Piazza Magazine of the Melbourne Italian
Students’ Club. The theatre involvement gave me an outlet for
self expression and improvement in the use of the spoken
language. The hesitancy of my first year English language use
had gone… fluency came with practice and extra studies. So I
passed the year… but this time there was no scholarship… and
I did go to see the Administrator of the Law Faculty again… but
he repeated the refrain “get your Arts Degree first and then I’ll
let you into the Law Faculty again.”
1971 arrived… I had finished Italian 3 Honours… so in
1972 I ended up with French(3) and Marketing in the
Commerce Department. So far I had Italian 1,2,3. (Honours),
French1 and 2, Philosophy1 Honours, British History(1) and
Australian History(2)… my French(3) Subject would complete
the Arts Degree requirements. Marketing, a commerce subject,
I studied out of personal interest since I was involved with the
Italian Drama Society. Here I remained as an actor and one of
the administrators for three years.
The end of 1971 saw me passing two subjects. During the
year I had gone to do some tutoring and teaching in Italian at
the Minerva Institute, a small private school in Swanston Street,
just down the road from Melbourne University. The money was
better than in waitering! At the end of that year I felt that at 23
years of age I was getting too old for Law and further studies.
A Diploma of Education course would help me get a job as a
teacher. Professor McCormick felt that was a good course of
action for me. He also wanted me to do further work in
History…
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I began 1972 at the Melbourne Teacher’s College, next
door to the University of Melbourne, with a view of completing
a teaching qualification in Languages (Italian and French) and
History. My involvement with the Italian Drama Society had
grown exponentially… I was the only one left in the Marketing
and Administration roles for the group… everyone else came
only to rehearse and be on stage. My work was appreciated
by my lecturers at the Melbourne Teachers College and by
Professor Colin McCormick at the University. I had begun to
feel more comfortable with the potential of this work, which
had been and was voluntary work.
In December 1972, I met my future wife Nella and in
February 1973 I began to teach at Thornbury High School
where I introduced the teaching of Italian. My colleague and
friend Sandro Martino was in Italy for the first half of that year.
He had been one of my teaching method teachers the previous
year at the same school where he taught French and History,
Needless to say with a new girlfriend and a new job, my
involvement with the Italian Drama Society began to wane and
it came to an abrupt end in early May 1973. By June of that
year I was engaged to Nella and we married on the 23rd of
December 1973.
In 1974 I enrolled at the University of Melbourne as an
Italian (4) Honours Student with a view of getting my
Preliminary Masters Degree. I joined the Victorian Association
of Teachers of Italian and became a Committee member. By the
end of that year Stefan Kasarik, Headmaster of the Saturday
School of Modern Languages (SSML), became Secretary of the
Victorian Association of Teachers of Italian (VATI). He took me
under his wing and in 1976, he became President of Vati and
I was the Secretary of the Association. He was a very
organized and capable administrator of this School which
included a number of centres across Melbourne. He was
responsible for me becoming the first Consultant of the
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Teaching of Italian in Victoria with the Education Department,
seconded to the Curriculum and Research Branch. He also
gave me the job as the first Italian Coordinator of the Saturday
School of Modern Languages.
In a few short years I had gone from theatre to education as
a marketing and practicing teacher of my subjects. In 1977 I
revised the Italian ALM text and workbook, an Audio Language
course for Harcourt Brace and Jovanovich, a New York based
Publishing House in Australia. I had also begun to teach at
Coburg High Evening School, conducted two workshops for
prospective primary and secondary school teachers at the
Melbourne State College, worked at Thornbury High School
and as the Italian Consultant for Victoria… I had become a dad
in 1974! The life of freedom had by now fully disappeared.
The next few years saw my very substantial contribution to
the teaching of Italian in this State for which the Governments
of Victoria and State Governments across Australia can truly be
proud. They led a charge in opening up the hearts and soul of
this great land to people from across the oceans … it would
take a few more decades to extend this also to the Indigenous
Australians. The commitment for a better and more humane
approach to people within their cultural and linguistic
backgrounds continues to this present day.
My work at the Curriculum and Research Branch, my
contacts with the Italian Cultural authorities and
representatives, my continued visits in schools and other
institutions and promotional work at the practical level in
schools and other institutions, together with the fact that I was
able to muster the energies of so many colleagues working in
classrooms and providing leadership to others, saw the
movement grow … with the resulting increases in the teaching
of Italian at the Secondary and Primary levels of Education.
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In 1979 I had become a dad for the third time… I was also
the President of the Victorian Association of Teachers of Italian
and of the Federal Committee of Teachers of Italian working
closely with the Director of the Cultural Institute in Melbourne
and urging the authorities to further their links with the country
of origin in order to bring about a qualitative improvement in
the teaching of Italian and in the relationships between the two
countries.
What a journey in a decade! One which I have not
forgotten but which inspires me still today after forty years of
activity!
In the meantime my poetry output did not stop… I continued
to jot down ideas, write poems, try to connect reality with my
aspirations… to search for the truth, for fairness, for ways in
which we can share our knowledge and skills. It was an intense
period of love, commitment to ideals, working to improve my
lot and that of others, for the greater good of all. It was a fun
if at times perplexing emotional and practical journey in search
of my own identity in a duality and multiplicity of experience.
In all this time, the writing continued to serve me well… the
accidental writer had begun to appreciate the importance of
recording one’s own actions for one’s own benefit… and also
for others. The art of written communication is an important tool
to be kept and cherished.
The skills developed as the practice grew… I had to write
up newsletters, letters, lesson plans, prepare articles for
newspapers, give impromptu speeches, organize and
communicate what needed to be done in small and large group
situations. I also had to write reports, give my views about
certain issues… the art of writing for others leads you to
simplify the type of language you use. You realize that clarity
and the short, sharp message is valued in one’s relationship
with people from all walks of life, young and old.
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1979 was truly a momentous year for me as the
organization of the work of the Federal Committee of Teachers
of Italian became a part of its brief to expand and provide a
qualitative language service across Australia. These were the
times of the development of Radio and TV networks that would
revolutionize the cultural imprimata of this country.
Today Australia has enjoyed many decades of tolerance
and growth within Government policies of all political
persuasions… extreme views have not taken a hold despite a
number of movements aiming to polarize and cause prejudice
and racism. Maybe all that happened in Australia and
especially in Melbourne and Victoria was a premeditated
ideological push towards our acceptance of globalization as a
reality in our modern world.
When I travel these days… wherever I fly over different
continents and countries, I recognize in the nations below their
cultural contribution in my daily life. For this I am immensely
grateful. More so because our children have become truly
cosmopolitan and comfortable in their acceptance of others
and cultures different from their own. I am also grateful for the
fact that these same children are strong believers in their own
inherently diverse identity… recognizing the different flavours
of their moods, thoughts and emotions coming from different
geographical areas of their family history. There is no turning
back.
The dreams of my youth have been realized. I am content
with the fact that I feel that my working life has somehow
played a positive part in this development, in which all people
have the right to say:
“Planet Earth: you are my world.”
The Accidental Writer continues to stumble across more
poetry that accompanies him in his walks through the reality of
living. For now, enjoy these poems on Love, the Seasons and
Sentiments… Buona lettura!
Tom Padula – April 2009